Sometimes it feels like caring is finite- we care so much about our friends, our families, our jobs, our partners, our finances, our pets, our jobs. We care about doing the right thing, we care about bettering our communities, we care about others. More often than not, the complexity of this care-web lacks an essential component, an absence that threatens the integrity of the system at hand- caring for yourself.
Self-care has been pushed to the wayside as our attention is grabbed from all other angles. Responsibility is distracting, and on the list of things to prioritize, we often find ourselves at the bottom of the docket. Without attentive detail to the vessel as a whole, functionality and durability wanes- you must be good to yourself to be good to others.
For those who have forgotten recently to worship yourself wholly and completely, read these tips to reignite your interest in yourself.
Find What Feels Good.
Self-care looks different for everyone. Some delight in a lavish bubble bath, others find joy in something as simple as washing their face when they wake up. Try on lots of different methods of relaxation and see what fits best- meditation, journaling, stretching, deep breathing, aromatherapy and listening to music are all effective and lovely, but don’t feel pressure to utilize them all. Eliminate things you find tedious or obligatory and settle comfortably into the rest.
Establish a Schedule.
We organize and bundle our time to the minute, wrapping it in neat packages often designated for others. Routine is comfortable and offers accountability, and repetition builds resolve. But just as you’re sure to cook dinner or take a shower at the same time every day, be sure to parcel specific, non-negotiable time blocks for you and you alone.
Use a few moments each morning to be kind to your future self. Make your bed as a gift for the nighttime, exhausted version of you, read a book for ten minutes with your coffee. Once you get the ball rolling early, making time for yourself through the day and afterwards becomes much easier. Just like the morning you craved breakfast and sunshine, your evening self needs and deserves the ritual of winding down. Curl into your neatly-made bed and spend another ten minutes reading. Stretch deeply and reflect on your gratitude for the day. Breathe. This time is for you only.
Be Kind to Yourself.
It can be so difficult to feel that we “deserve” the luxury of spending time and energy on ourselves. Try to reframe that feeling and treat your brain and body with the care and love it deserves. We are no good to others if we are no good to ourselves. If you need a little extra encouragement, keep a small list during the day of accomplishments that have made you proud, from complimenting a coworker to petting a new dog. Seeing a delightful list of smile-worthy content will remind you of your worth and merit. Well done, you. You deserve to stop treating self-care as optional.